blogging in the middle of the night...

blogging in the middle of the night...

t'was the midnight of thursday... as i was trying out this new laptop, i came across something...

err...nope, it's like this thing that's been running through my mind has been going on for several days, thankfully, not continuous...

really, frankly, to tell you the truth, dear reader, im really at a surreal state right now... weird as it may seem, i know now what really needs to be done...

even up to today, my dear reader, i suck at this thing called forgiveness... up to now, i can't even forgive myself... sh*t, i thought i have forgiven myself for liking someone in the past... but i know now that that did not even materialized...

for truth's sake, i am obsessed with you... i am really really obsessed with you... for reasons i don't know, for reason that i can't even comprehend... look, i don't wanna say the word 'love' because i can't even say i "love" you because i know deep down in my heart that i long for you every single minute knowing that this obsession cannot be love until i learn the true meaning of love and loving...

"you keep me preoccupied..." as one of my songs say, your persistent memory, the softness of your hand, the warmth of each touch we had, hand in hand... the simple words and messages... man, why can't i get over being obsessed with you...

sabi ko dati sa kaibigan ko, "sumuko na ako kay..." pero little did i know that i was only prolonging the agony, postponing what was inside my heart and still is right now... i know you will never read this... but i really hope against hope itself that you would take time to read this...

i have not felt like this before in my entire life...

in short, i miss you so bad...

and i suck at forgiving myself for not having the courage to tell you what i really feel...

i really miss you... may God bless you always... EE:(