When

When?

When will I grow up?

When will I be what I want myself to be?

When will I see you again?

There are so many questions.

When will all of these be answered?

I believe that my growth as a person has slowed down. I refused to learn. But, I know that I just need some motivation. I am beginning to love what I hated, and I'm happy that I am beginning to.

I have my addictions, and I want to remove them. I'm happy I've been resisting C2 lemon teas, softdrinks, and alcoholic beverages. Kaya nga pag nagkakainuman dito sa bahay, umiiwas na ako. But I have more addictions, and I want to cut down on those.

"I can see the sun coming up the horizon," a line from an Angels and Airwaves song. It's 10:19pm, I don't see the sun, but I believe that the sun is shining over this world, and, soon, it'll come up on my horizon. There's a blue sky, ika nga ng Hale.

I know love has been cruel to me. With the relationships I had and failed, I know now what I don't want. At least I have a hint as to what I want, not exactly what I want, but a hint to it.

I'd like to see the sun rise from the east at a whitesand beach with the clearest sky or little cirrus clouds with coconut trees tall as a two-storey building, just like Catanduanes. I love that place, as close as I can be with nature, as close as I can be with the one I love. I wish she could be with me there. When will I get to live that dream?

As far as the questions go, I want to answer them now, but things must first come to pass before I could answer them. The more I want to grow up, the more it'll elude me.

I have my own plague of problems and I want to treat the plague that has engulfed my whole being.

I'm sorry to all that I have hurt. To my bandmates, the ones I have handpicked but didn't made it, para sa inyo yung performance ko nung Grounded.


"If love's a word that you say, then say it. I will listen." Start The Machine -
Angels and Airwaves