When

When?

When will I grow up?

When will I be what I want myself to be?

When will I see you again?

There are so many questions.

When will all of these be answered?

I believe that my growth as a person has slowed down. I refused to learn. But, I know that I just need some motivation. I am beginning to love what I hated, and I'm happy that I am beginning to.

I have my addictions, and I want to remove them. I'm happy I've been resisting C2 lemon teas, softdrinks, and alcoholic beverages. Kaya nga pag nagkakainuman dito sa bahay, umiiwas na ako. But I have more addictions, and I want to cut down on those.

"I can see the sun coming up the horizon," a line from an Angels and Airwaves song. It's 10:19pm, I don't see the sun, but I believe that the sun is shining over this world, and, soon, it'll come up on my horizon. There's a blue sky, ika nga ng Hale.

I know love has been cruel to me. With the relationships I had and failed, I know now what I don't want. At least I have a hint as to what I want, not exactly what I want, but a hint to it.

I'd like to see the sun rise from the east at a whitesand beach with the clearest sky or little cirrus clouds with coconut trees tall as a two-storey building, just like Catanduanes. I love that place, as close as I can be with nature, as close as I can be with the one I love. I wish she could be with me there. When will I get to live that dream?

As far as the questions go, I want to answer them now, but things must first come to pass before I could answer them. The more I want to grow up, the more it'll elude me.

I have my own plague of problems and I want to treat the plague that has engulfed my whole being.

I'm sorry to all that I have hurt. To my bandmates, the ones I have handpicked but didn't made it, para sa inyo yung performance ko nung Grounded.


"If love's a word that you say, then say it. I will listen." Start The Machine -
Angels and Airwaves

You'll Pick Me Up (I Hope)

In this blog, I'll mention some lines from songs by the band Angels and Airwaves. I'm a big fan of blink-182. Since the latter is in an indefinite "hiatus," as they would like to call it, and the former is the offspring of Tom DeLonge, blink-182's electric (and eccentric) guitarist, I became fond of AVA's music. (AVA is the abbreviation of Angels and Airwaves, as the said band would like it to be abbreviated.)

"If you’re gonna to fall, Ill let you know that I will pick you up like you for I," Angels and Airwaves on the song "The Adventure". That's what I'll do. I'll pick her up, and she'll do the same for me. I hope.

"I cannot live, I can’t breathe unless you do this with me," again from "The Adventure." A little exaggerated but, still, it works. I wouldn't want to live without her. I wouldn't be like this if not for her.

Small things make big differences. While I was in a state of recovery from the downward spiral that I was in, I became more oriented with what I would want to be. And I want to be with her.

I'm simple, and I want simple things. Small things mean a lot to me. Like somebody to hold on to. I have no other person in mind that I would want to hold on to.

"Please stay until I'm gone. I'm here. Hold on to me. I'm right here... waiting..." "Not Now" was one of blink-182's last singles before entering the "hiatus." I would really want to see them back in action again.

I'm here. Hold on to me. I'm right here... waiting... I'm right here, waiting for you. It's 11:22pm, twenty-seventh of September 2006. Almost a month has passed since you came into my life again, and I want you to stay, until I'm gone. And when I fall, I hope you'll pick me up.