Sonnet 1012 version 2

This bizarre feeling puts me in a trance
This is weird, my first reaction to love.
There she went, I failed to grab one more chance
Should I cry or laugh it off, smile or sob?
Crying like girls means I’m a sissy lad
Laughing it off means I’m a lunatic
Smiling is awkward, but does not feel bad
Sobbing is okay, but makes me feel sick.
There she went, gentle like a breeze, unarmed
I was reluctant to say what I feel
She passed by but I was really alarmed
“Whoa! She smiled at me! Could all this be real?”

Like a stone, I froze, cannot speak nor sway.
But I smiled, hoping she felt the same way.